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Lean On Me.

14 Dec

Soooo, I wrote this on March 1, 2016 and I just found it today. I just want to thank God for his divine order and protection. Today is/was rough until I found this. This reminder is RIGHT ON TIME!!! I have no idea why it never made it to the blog (and yes I know I haven’t posted in a while – updates on life will be posted later) but I guess today is the day.

Lean On Me.

My conversation with God this morning was more of plea. As I’ve stated in my previous post. My mantra for this year is I will enjoy all the blessings God has given me.

I didn’t reflect on 2015 on the blog because I feel like it didn’t stop. This journey is still continuing from my expectations from last year. God has given me everything I asked for and beyond. I don’t want to sound boastful or anything but I really think it is because I am learning to align my desires with his. 2015 was a fight and a blessing all wrapped up into one huge experience.

As i look back I can see the why, how’s and what I need to do now.

But when tell you that when God gives you something. Whatever your something is he will also give you instructions on how to do it. This is the reminder I keep telling myself. Lord, now tell me what and how I’m supposed to do this.

It relieves my stress, anxiety and fear to fail. I can’t fail when  know that I’m leaning on him and not my own understanding. My own standing would not have me sitting in the seat or life that I’m experiencing now.

So, Father yes, I will lean, rest, whatever on you. Because i don’t know any other way.

Unafraid,

Christine K~

I AM THE NEW GIRL

11 Apr

I forgot what it felt like to be the New Girl. Sure, there’s something a little exciting about being the New Girl. Maybe the New Girl will be wildly accepted and instantly popular. Maybe people will find her mysterious but not threatening. Maybe the New Girl will find a place where she can grow and flourish…Or maybe the New Girl will just be that, another nameless face in the revolving door of the Christian church.

Today it dawned on me that I AM THE NEW GIRL! (insert dramatic pause)  This is a HUGE change. A few years ago I was very comfortable and active in my church. I felt accepted and welcome. I looked forward to Sunday worship and Bible study. I volunteered countless hours in the ministry. I studied at home so that I could be a better servant. I did this without hesitation because I was part of something bigger than me. I was part of a community. Fast forward to today….I am searching for a new community.  

Every Sunday I walk into a church and I don’t know anyone. I’m not a part of the group. I don’t have friends to sit with. I don’t know the pastor’s name, the church mission or the church beliefs. I don’t even know where the bathrooms are. I am the New Girl. Every week Christian community encounter visitors. There are enumerable New Girls I feel like we’re a forgotten group without a spokesman. So today, I’m speaking up. Here’s what I want you to know about the many New Girls that you meet.

1.       I want to belong. I want to be accepted.

2.       It’s not easy walking into a new church. Everyone has well established roles and I have to figure out where I fit in.

3.       I’m self-conscious. I hope that I’m dressed appropriate for your church. If I’m not please don’t point this out to me.

4.       I want someone to smile at me and say hello. It’s super important.

5.       I’ll need some help…I won’t know the words to every song, when to sit, when to stand or where the bathrooms are.

6.       I want to be appreciated but I don’t want to be singled out too much.

7.       I’m not a threat. I’m not here to take your church position. I’m also not the latest Jezebel to infiltrate your church.

8.       I’m nervous.

9.       I want accountability.

10.   I am a Christian. I’m forgiven. I’m secure in my salvation.  

11.   I have been hurt by church. So I might be a little apprehensive.

12.   I’m not into cliques. If you don’t know me that probably means that I don’t know you (just think about that).

13.   I love God.

14.   I want to learn and I want to grow spiritually.

15.   I might not come back. Don’t take it personal. Your church is awesome but it’s just not the place for me.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R. AKA The New Girl 

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