Tag Archives: Christainblogger

Birthday Behavior

27 Feb

So, yesterday was my birthday. It was a pretty awesome week. Really the month of February has been amazing.

Usually, I like to spend my day alone. My friends and family always get on me about it but over the years they have just become accustomed to my behavior. I just love the idea that this is the day God decided to bring me into the world and I don’t usually want to share it with anyone else.

I always wonder what was he thinking…why this day…why in cold…why my parents? Even though, I don’t really care about knowing the answers. I still like the idea of wondering about his thoughts for me. As we always say, God is so strategic.

This year, I’ve celebrated in small increments but I’ve had a blast. Every year, people always give me gifts, cards, hugs, phone calls and texts. However, this year it just seemed very different. I really don’t know why. It could be due to me opening up a little more, allowing others to experience and share in my joy. Who knows….

My motto for this year has been: “I’m happy. I’m overjoyed. God has given me so many precious gifts and I will enjoy each of them this year. No worries or stress. Only faith and love.”

Unafraid,

Christine K.

 

 

 

My Deepest Apology

23 Nov

IMG_2943 (1)

Today I went to church. It started as a typical Sunday…Praise & worship, offering, sermon. But this Sunday, my pastor had an altar call. For those who don’t know, an altar call is a prayer dedicated to specific needs. This doesn’t happen often. Whenever there’s an altar call I become very introspective. I start examining my life from my prayer life to social life. I look at my health and the health of my family and friends. Am I connected to anyone that needs prayer? It’s one of the few times that I’m 100% serious.

My pastor says, “If anyone needs healing in their body, please come to the altar for prayer.” I examined myself and realized that I’m not sick physically or mentally. People flooded the altar while I remained in my seat. Everyone is prayed for and returns to their seats.

My pastor moves to his next prayer. He says, “If anyone has a family member or friend that is sick. Please come stand in proxy for them.” I examined myself again.  Nope! I don’t know anyone that is sick. I’ve actually had miraculous healings take place in my family over the last few weeks. Again, everyone is prayed for and go back to their seats.

My pastor gives his final prayer. He says, “If anyone needs financial breakthrough, please come to the altar.” I perform a system check. Nope! I’m good. God has blessed my finances. Again, people are prayed for and return to their seats. And I’m standing waiting.

What was I waiting on? I expected to be in need. But in that moment, I realized that God has truly blessed me. I had overlooked how wonderful my life was. I had forgotten the miracles that God performed. I forgot that He’s continuously working.  I forgot that I am blessed. I forgot that I am healthy. I forgot that everyone around me is healthy. I forgot that I’m financially stable. I forgot about God’s goodness and I’m very sorry. I felt ashamed as I watched people in need of what I had taken for granted. I was ashamed of my ungratefulness. I needed to take a moment to say publically…Thank you God for blessing me above and beyond what I ever expected. I thank you healing my family. I thank you for protecting me and my family.  Thank you for changing my life. Thank you for healing my mind, body and soul. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for giving me your peace. Thank you for loving me even when I was ungrateful. Thank you for giving me another chance to say that I’m blessed.

 

Apologetically,

Arizona R.

 

Where Would I Be.

15 Nov

Where Would I Be

I began to write about the past 3 years of my life but as I reflected on the joys and heartache, the first thing that popped into my mind was this song. Not sure who wrote it but I grew up listening to these lyrics during devotional time at church.

“If It Had, Not, Been For The Lord, On My Side

Where Would I Be?, Where Would I Be? 

If It Had Not Been For The Lord On My Side

Where Would I Be? Where Would I Be?

He Kept My Enemies Away
He Let The Sun Shine Though A Cloudy Day
Oh, He Wrapped Me In The Cradle Of His Arms
When He Knew I’ Been Battered And Torn,

He Never Left Me All Alone
He Gave Me Peace And Joy I’ve Never Known
He Answered When I Knelt To Him In Prayer
And In Victory The Lord Brought Me This Way,

There’s not much I can say after that but THANK YOU JESUS!

Unafraid,

Christine K.

How Can We Both Be Victims?

14 Oct

As I am sitting here thinking about my life situations something HITS me… How can we both be victims?

I would like to share a small story with you if that’s okay.  I have a first cousin that I hadn’t spoken to in over 7 years.  We talked everyday. We didn’t go days without talking, but somehow we ended up going years without talking.  I can’t even tell you why we stop talking. All I can tell you is that I thought she was mad at me, and she thought I was mad at her.  Which wasn’t even the case. Wow the things that will happen when PRIDE steps in! And that’s when it dawned on me today how much I have allowed the devil to rob me of…

There was so many years of joy, peace, and love lost.  All because we was prideful and we both wanted to play the victim. Neither party wanted to humbled themselves to even see what the real issue was or even if there was an issue. How can we both be victims?  It wasn’t because we did anything to each other, but it was because the devil played his game.But the grace that God gives is even stronger. As the scripture says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 GNT
Unashamed,
Toi

Live. Love. Forgive.

4 Oct

I was recently challenged to answer the questions below and figured I would share. It took me almost three months to answer these very simple questions. I’m finally at a place of peace to answer wholeheartedly. Enjoy!

Question 1:
What is the greatest lesson you have learned in your life?

The greatest lesson I’ve learned in my life thus far is to live, love and forgive. All of my life experiences have cycled into these three areas. My ultimate quest in life is to live the abundant life God has granted and promised me. I’ve learned that in ordered to do that I must step out on faith and trust that when you love you are bound to get hurt and that is when forgiveness takes place. I’ve also learned that forgiveness is the ability to forgive others but most importantly to forgive yourself even if the other person does not apologize. That is when Godly love kicks in. Understanding that everyone is human and we are bound to get hurt but if we trust God with our pain and to ultimately trust his process for our life. That is when our abundant life that is promised will kick in. Understanding that my life is ordained before the foundations of the world. He knew me before I knew myself and all of my days are ordered and that includes the daily disappointments.

Ok, I’m ranting…Does that make sense? LOL!

Question #2:
How has that lesson shaped your tomorrow?

It has given me peace. Even when I’m battling to keep my peace, I just remind myself that he is control and to trust the process. God’s love heals all wounds, drives out all fears, and surrounds us with his perfect favor for life.

Unafraid,

Christine K.

The Pain of Perfection

30 Sep

I’ve spent my entire life being viewed as “perfect”. For some reason I was labeled as the Golden Child in my family and neighborhood. I had perfect posture, hair, smile, grades, behavior. My mother would always get complemented on how “perfect” I was. But I wasn’t perfect (my mom knew it but she wouldn’t blow my cover). I had a perfect image and I wanted to break free from it. Being perfect is painful.

I spent my entire adult life fighting the stigma of “perfection” only to become entrapped again by perfection. When I became a Christian, I suddenly had the desire to be perfect. I wanted my life to be a complete reflection of Christ. I think I took the phrase, “go and sin no more” too far.  I just knew that I would trust God and would do nothing wrong ever again. So I changed my life. I almost eliminated my social life, I stopped cursing, I stopped listening to rap music, my clothes were mostly modest mute colors, my diet was impossibly strict, I sowed financial seeds into ministries, I donated time teaching the gospel, I volunteered in ministry (blah, blah, blah)…All of this and I still couldn’t manage a perfect life. I still had moments of sin. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. The problem was that I didn’t trust God. I began working and changing myself instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to change me. My Christian experience was based on my works.

Perfectionism is a work of the flesh. In other words, I depend on myself to get everything accomplished. I was my source. The time that I spent studying would lead to my great knowledge. The time that I spent volunteering would lead to my rewards in heaven. Sowing money into ministries would lead to financial blessings for me. I could go on and on…I believed that my activities would lead to my blessed, sin free life. Wrong Answer!

Romans 3:23 tells us that we all fall short. We do not have the power to live a perfect life.  God in all of his infinite wisdom knew that some of us would struggle with perfection. And that we would be devastated when we failed (because we ALL fail). He lets us know He knows that we love Him and wants our lives to please Him. He forewarned us that all things will work together for our good and will be used for His purpose (Romans 8:28).  His grace kept me from being destroyed (mostly from myself because perfection is self-destructive). He loved me and my lowest points. He never abandoned me. When I thought I was totally lost to sin, He was showing me his grace.

God used my shortcomings to teach me about Him. I will fall but God’s grace is loving and forgiving. He loves me no matter what. Even when I don’t serve in ministry that He will still bless me. When I don’t sow financial seeds that he still blesses me finances. It has nothing to do with my works.  He loves because He promised that He would. And since He is perfection, I know that He is true to His word.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R.

The Solid Rock. 

14 Apr

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus blood and righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand. 

When darkness veils, His lovely face,

I read on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood

Support me in the whelming flood;

When all around my soul gives way, 

He then is all my hope to stay. 

When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh, may I then in Him be found;

Dressed in His righteousness alone, 

Faultless to stand before the throne. 

*One of my favorite hymns*

~Christine K. 

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