Tag Archives: christianblogger

I AM THE NEW GIRL

11 Apr

I forgot what it felt like to be the New Girl. Sure, there’s something a little exciting about being the New Girl. Maybe the New Girl will be wildly accepted and instantly popular. Maybe people will find her mysterious but not threatening. Maybe the New Girl will find a place where she can grow and flourish…Or maybe the New Girl will just be that, another nameless face in the revolving door of the Christian church.

Today it dawned on me that I AM THE NEW GIRL! (insert dramatic pause)  This is a HUGE change. A few years ago I was very comfortable and active in my church. I felt accepted and welcome. I looked forward to Sunday worship and Bible study. I volunteered countless hours in the ministry. I studied at home so that I could be a better servant. I did this without hesitation because I was part of something bigger than me. I was part of a community. Fast forward to today….I am searching for a new community.  

Every Sunday I walk into a church and I don’t know anyone. I’m not a part of the group. I don’t have friends to sit with. I don’t know the pastor’s name, the church mission or the church beliefs. I don’t even know where the bathrooms are. I am the New Girl. Every week Christian community encounter visitors. There are enumerable New Girls I feel like we’re a forgotten group without a spokesman. So today, I’m speaking up. Here’s what I want you to know about the many New Girls that you meet.

1.       I want to belong. I want to be accepted.

2.       It’s not easy walking into a new church. Everyone has well established roles and I have to figure out where I fit in.

3.       I’m self-conscious. I hope that I’m dressed appropriate for your church. If I’m not please don’t point this out to me.

4.       I want someone to smile at me and say hello. It’s super important.

5.       I’ll need some help…I won’t know the words to every song, when to sit, when to stand or where the bathrooms are.

6.       I want to be appreciated but I don’t want to be singled out too much.

7.       I’m not a threat. I’m not here to take your church position. I’m also not the latest Jezebel to infiltrate your church.

8.       I’m nervous.

9.       I want accountability.

10.   I am a Christian. I’m forgiven. I’m secure in my salvation.  

11.   I have been hurt by church. So I might be a little apprehensive.

12.   I’m not into cliques. If you don’t know me that probably means that I don’t know you (just think about that).

13.   I love God.

14.   I want to learn and I want to grow spiritually.

15.   I might not come back. Don’t take it personal. Your church is awesome but it’s just not the place for me.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R. AKA The New Girl 

The Little Girl In Me. 

10 Aug

  
During a recent visit with my family, we decided to watch some old family videos. One in particular was my Aunt’s wedding. We had such a fantastic time. We were able to see old family members that passed away and the throw – back looks of each of us from the 90’s. It was truly warming and rewarding. It was also nice to see the looks on the faces of my niece and nephews as they saw their parents as kids.

One thing that intrigued me was the innocent, hopeful and fearless look in my eyes. As we sat and watched the reception, my first thought was “Where did that little girl go?” I danced and danced as if no one was looking. I was so free and full of life. I need that little girl back. I haven’t blogged in almost 4 months which is unreal to me because this is truly therapy for me. Hence, why I’ve probably been under so much stress lately. I haven’t released or shared all the wonderful things God has done lately.

Just know that I am getting back to that little girl in me. The one God created. Full of life, possibilities and laughter. Removing all negativity and walking in my destiny.

I am going to dance my life away in God’s presence.

Unafraid,

Christine K.

Relaxation.

15 Feb

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We have spent the last 7 days on the Florida coast. Can I just say that water always calms me. I absolutely love love LOOVE the beach. Every time I look out and see where the sky meets the ocean is a reminder that nothing is too hard for God.

Thankful for this time of rejuvenation. His unfailing love never fails us.

~Christine K.

Unique.

9 Nov

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered.” – Psalms 139:17

The entire chapter of Psalms 139 is a great reminder of how unique we are and how we can never escape God’s presence. God delights himself in us because we are his very own masterpiece. He created us in our inmost being and his gracious thoughts about us as the scriptures states “cannot be numbered.”

Awesome.

Unfortunately, the distractions, condemnation and negativities of this world bombard our thought life which then is demonstrated in our behavior. We walk around as robots. Mimicking behavior, dressing in what others deem fashionable and never really learning who we are on the inside. Self-discovery or what I like to call “God discovery by the workings of the Holy Spirit” after you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, is NON-NEGOTIABLE! We tell new believers all the time the things they can’t do anymore but we never really give them the steps on how to live (outside of going to Sunday morning service, join a ministry and don’t miss bible study). All of those things are important…but you also have to LIVE!!!

Do you like to run?

Are you a painter?

When was the last time you participated in a dance class?

All I’m saying is….try something new! Learn who you are as you transform into God’s image. There is something about you that will blow your mind that you don’t even know you are able to do (yet)

I have to admit this was struggle for me after I got born again. I was BORED with Christianity. I was in my 20’s and I didn’t know what to do. All my friends were out and I was in the house. I kept saying asking God “so what am I supposed to do.” He soon gave me Godly friends and activities (PRAISE THE LORD).

This morning while I was eating breakfast (which prompted this post) I thought “I forgot how unique I am” I forgot that I cannot be replaced. There will only be one Christine. God only made one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with yourself because GOD LOVES YOU! Why not also love his creation too.

As Christians, our common thread of identity is the spiritual fruit we produce.

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

Be confident in what God created. You for his glory, for he created us as individuals but connected us through his spirit.

~Christine K.

And We Know…

26 Oct

Romans 8: 28-30:

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

 And guess what. You have been called. Yes, you. The former drug abuser, backslider, and the rejected one. You have purpose. I wish I could tell you what your purpose is but only God can do that. He is the one who created and individualized the plan just for you. And guess what…the plan is perfect, purposeful and amazing.

9What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived. The things God has prepared for those who love him. 10These are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.”

I truly believe it. Even when I feel stuck and my life is not moving at the pace I imagined. I always look back at that scripture. I want you to stop right now and take a look around at your surroundings. What you see and whatever is going on, it’s all temporary, whether it’s good or bad. Our life is ever changing and God is NEVER stagnant. He is always working on your behalf.

4He who watches over you will not slumber.

After reading Arizona’s previous post, I called and ask her if she was ok. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but laugh because I could see all her animated facial expressions as she was writing. (I’m pretty sure her keyboard was saying “ouch, I didn’t do it”) I believe she had what we call a “aha” moment. We’ve all had them. When it all just clicks, you just wake up and think “What in the world happen here?” or “It’s time to move forward.” I met that silly girl, 5 years ago at church. I believe without a shadow of a doubt God ordained us to meet.

When we realize that God is with us in every step of our lives, it gives us assurance. Through all the pain, hurt, success, rejection and acceptance, he is there telling us that there is purpose in each season of our life. If we just quiet ourselves and listen. He’s there telling us….

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Don’t settle.

Christine K.

Users and Accusers

22 Oct

“You’ve been played and I think you know it…but I used you, used like a stepping stone…” Those are the lyrics to a hip-hop song from the 90’s. I don’t really remember much else from the song but those lyrics resonated with me today.  It’s fitting for what I’m about to write.

I’m going to blatantly honest and vulnerable in this post. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been different; more introspective. Something was bothering me, but I couldn’t quite figure it out. This morning, it finally clicked. I’ve been fighting with the sting of betrayal. I’ve been betrayed before. Friends have told secrets, boyfriends have cheated and people have stolen money. This time it’s different. I couldn’t brush this off.

The sting from my recent betrayals is different because it came from Christians. Not just any Christians but the ones that I trusted and supported the most. I shared my secrets, exposed my vulnerabilities and told them my dreams. These people mentored me, came to my home, travelled with me and served in ministry with me. I spend countless hours volunteering in their ministries. I supported their dreams. I attended their ministry functions, bought tickets, cleaned, taught, hauled trash, listened, encouraged…I did whatever was needed.  I changed my schedule and cancelled plans to support them. I considered them friends, but they weren’t. These same “friends” now question my integrity, doubt my spiritual gifting and accuse me of being a “fake Christian”.  Smiles, hugs and phone calls have been replaced with frowns, stares and silence. I’ve served my purpose in their lives and I’ve been cast aside.

I should be sad, but I’m not. No way. Y’all don’t know Arizona! I’m an optimist. I feel like my life has been redirected. I spent so much time helping my “users” build their dreams that I forgot about mine. I stopped nurturing my gifts. For a moment, I stopped living. My “accusers” will have plenty to talk about. This chick is living her life to the fullest. I’m living the life that God has designed for me. I’m using the gifts and creativity that He has given me. I’m NOT going to spend my life supporting and mourning over “accusers” and “users”.  And I will not apologize for being me.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R

I Am Before I Was…

12 Oct

I am a child of God….

Before I was wife. I was a child of God.

Before I was teacher. I was a child of God.

Before I was usher. I was a child of God.

Before I was a deacon. I was a child of God.

Before I was preacher. I was a child of God.

Before I was a choir member. I was a child of God.

Let’s not identify and honor ourselves with titles that will not get you into heaven. Christians, let’s be proud of the best title and embrace our only identity, we freely inherited through the shed blood of Jesus Christ.

I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD and because I am his child, I get the awesome opportunity to serve in my ordained area of gifting through his grace. (In my Forrest Gump voice….”And that’s all I have to say about that”)

~Christine K.

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