Tag Archives: Freedom

I AM THE NEW GIRL

11 Apr

I forgot what it felt like to be the New Girl. Sure, there’s something a little exciting about being the New Girl. Maybe the New Girl will be wildly accepted and instantly popular. Maybe people will find her mysterious but not threatening. Maybe the New Girl will find a place where she can grow and flourish…Or maybe the New Girl will just be that, another nameless face in the revolving door of the Christian church.

Today it dawned on me that I AM THE NEW GIRL! (insert dramatic pause)  This is a HUGE change. A few years ago I was very comfortable and active in my church. I felt accepted and welcome. I looked forward to Sunday worship and Bible study. I volunteered countless hours in the ministry. I studied at home so that I could be a better servant. I did this without hesitation because I was part of something bigger than me. I was part of a community. Fast forward to today….I am searching for a new community.  

Every Sunday I walk into a church and I don’t know anyone. I’m not a part of the group. I don’t have friends to sit with. I don’t know the pastor’s name, the church mission or the church beliefs. I don’t even know where the bathrooms are. I am the New Girl. Every week Christian community encounter visitors. There are enumerable New Girls I feel like we’re a forgotten group without a spokesman. So today, I’m speaking up. Here’s what I want you to know about the many New Girls that you meet.

1.       I want to belong. I want to be accepted.

2.       It’s not easy walking into a new church. Everyone has well established roles and I have to figure out where I fit in.

3.       I’m self-conscious. I hope that I’m dressed appropriate for your church. If I’m not please don’t point this out to me.

4.       I want someone to smile at me and say hello. It’s super important.

5.       I’ll need some help…I won’t know the words to every song, when to sit, when to stand or where the bathrooms are.

6.       I want to be appreciated but I don’t want to be singled out too much.

7.       I’m not a threat. I’m not here to take your church position. I’m also not the latest Jezebel to infiltrate your church.

8.       I’m nervous.

9.       I want accountability.

10.   I am a Christian. I’m forgiven. I’m secure in my salvation.  

11.   I have been hurt by church. So I might be a little apprehensive.

12.   I’m not into cliques. If you don’t know me that probably means that I don’t know you (just think about that).

13.   I love God.

14.   I want to learn and I want to grow spiritually.

15.   I might not come back. Don’t take it personal. Your church is awesome but it’s just not the place for me.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R. AKA The New Girl 

Birthday Behavior

27 Feb

So, yesterday was my birthday. It was a pretty awesome week. Really the month of February has been amazing.

Usually, I like to spend my day alone. My friends and family always get on me about it but over the years they have just become accustomed to my behavior. I just love the idea that this is the day God decided to bring me into the world and I don’t usually want to share it with anyone else.

I always wonder what was he thinking…why this day…why in cold…why my parents? Even though, I don’t really care about knowing the answers. I still like the idea of wondering about his thoughts for me. As we always say, God is so strategic.

This year, I’ve celebrated in small increments but I’ve had a blast. Every year, people always give me gifts, cards, hugs, phone calls and texts. However, this year it just seemed very different. I really don’t know why. It could be due to me opening up a little more, allowing others to experience and share in my joy. Who knows….

My motto for this year has been: “I’m happy. I’m overjoyed. God has given me so many precious gifts and I will enjoy each of them this year. No worries or stress. Only faith and love.”

Unafraid,

Christine K.

 

 

 

My Deepest Apology

23 Nov

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Today I went to church. It started as a typical Sunday…Praise & worship, offering, sermon. But this Sunday, my pastor had an altar call. For those who don’t know, an altar call is a prayer dedicated to specific needs. This doesn’t happen often. Whenever there’s an altar call I become very introspective. I start examining my life from my prayer life to social life. I look at my health and the health of my family and friends. Am I connected to anyone that needs prayer? It’s one of the few times that I’m 100% serious.

My pastor says, “If anyone needs healing in their body, please come to the altar for prayer.” I examined myself and realized that I’m not sick physically or mentally. People flooded the altar while I remained in my seat. Everyone is prayed for and returns to their seats.

My pastor moves to his next prayer. He says, “If anyone has a family member or friend that is sick. Please come stand in proxy for them.” I examined myself again.  Nope! I don’t know anyone that is sick. I’ve actually had miraculous healings take place in my family over the last few weeks. Again, everyone is prayed for and go back to their seats.

My pastor gives his final prayer. He says, “If anyone needs financial breakthrough, please come to the altar.” I perform a system check. Nope! I’m good. God has blessed my finances. Again, people are prayed for and return to their seats. And I’m standing waiting.

What was I waiting on? I expected to be in need. But in that moment, I realized that God has truly blessed me. I had overlooked how wonderful my life was. I had forgotten the miracles that God performed. I forgot that He’s continuously working.  I forgot that I am blessed. I forgot that I am healthy. I forgot that everyone around me is healthy. I forgot that I’m financially stable. I forgot about God’s goodness and I’m very sorry. I felt ashamed as I watched people in need of what I had taken for granted. I was ashamed of my ungratefulness. I needed to take a moment to say publically…Thank you God for blessing me above and beyond what I ever expected. I thank you healing my family. I thank you for protecting me and my family.  Thank you for changing my life. Thank you for healing my mind, body and soul. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for giving me your peace. Thank you for loving me even when I was ungrateful. Thank you for giving me another chance to say that I’m blessed.

 

Apologetically,

Arizona R.

 

How Can We Both Be Victims?

14 Oct

As I am sitting here thinking about my life situations something HITS me… How can we both be victims?

I would like to share a small story with you if that’s okay.  I have a first cousin that I hadn’t spoken to in over 7 years.  We talked everyday. We didn’t go days without talking, but somehow we ended up going years without talking.  I can’t even tell you why we stop talking. All I can tell you is that I thought she was mad at me, and she thought I was mad at her.  Which wasn’t even the case. Wow the things that will happen when PRIDE steps in! And that’s when it dawned on me today how much I have allowed the devil to rob me of…

There was so many years of joy, peace, and love lost.  All because we was prideful and we both wanted to play the victim. Neither party wanted to humbled themselves to even see what the real issue was or even if there was an issue. How can we both be victims?  It wasn’t because we did anything to each other, but it was because the devil played his game.But the grace that God gives is even stronger. As the scripture says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 GNT
Unashamed,
Toi

The Solid Rock. 

14 Apr

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus blood and righteousness;

I dare not trust the sweetest frame,

But wholly lean on Jesus name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand. 

When darkness veils, His lovely face,

I read on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale,

My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood

Support me in the whelming flood;

When all around my soul gives way, 

He then is all my hope to stay. 

When He shall come with trumpet sound,

Oh, may I then in Him be found;

Dressed in His righteousness alone, 

Faultless to stand before the throne. 

*One of my favorite hymns*

~Christine K. 

You Are Covered.

22 Mar

The enemy is threatened when make up in your mind to pursue God.

He’s threathened when you know your worth, value and price in Christ.

He sends us distractions to try to stop our pursuit.

John 16:33 (NKJV) “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Luke 22:31 “And the Lord said, Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

When God reveals his purpose for your life and you start in that direction. Get ready for the fight! When I say this has been an eventful 2015 already. I will continue to stand firm on his promises and continue to walk by faith. I’m thankful that Jesus is my high priest and consistently intercedes for me.

Thanks be to God who ALWAYS causes me and you to triumph in our Lord Christ Jesus.

Christine K.~

Rejection.

12 Jan

“Rejection is just God redirecting you into the right path.” We hear it all the time but is it really? I will have to admit, I don’t believe that wholeheartedly. I do believe it can be redirected properly when the individual being rejected actually knows how to identify it. Most people that face rejection don’t know how to deal with it, especially when someone is living in a continuous state of rejection.

Honestly, I would prefer to experience rejection than to be the rejecter. When faced with rejection you feel low, confused, unworthy, like a complete failure. However, that is not the case, most of the time; the rejected person has not done anything wrong.

God tell us that we are accepted when we first accept Christ as our personal savior. Christians take longer than we should to believe that scripture. Oftentimes we do things to try to “fit in” within the community of believers. The whole – I serve in church, I attend every bible study, every conference in hopes to feel accepted by that particular body. Some people even rub noses with the “elites” or give bigger offerings in hopes of being accepted or deemed worthy of positions. Sadly, their hearts are so far from God.

As Christians we are born in the image of God. We are 1st connected to him and he gives us the longing to be connected to others. But this has to be a healthy connection. We cannot lose our identity (or never find it) in hopes of be accepted by man. We should only desire to change ungodly behavior for God and yourself. Not others.

God is a loving and gracious God. He accepts us all. So why do we reject one another? I believe low self-esteem, fear, and pride on the rejecters heart.

And to the one experiencing rejection look to God. Ask yourself are you putting your self-worth, esteem and worthiness in someone else’s hands. Let me answer that question for you, YES!

Do everything unto God, let him order you steps. His love and approval is readily available to you as a gift. When sin entered in this world he loved us enough to send his son to die for you. No one else will ever do that for you. Aim to please God with your faith, back it up with actions and watch your life transform right in front of your eyes.

Be confident in who you are. Be brave enough to face adversity. Be strong enough to walk the narrow path God placed in front of you.

Just Be…

~Christine K.

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