Tag Archives: Relationship

I AM THE NEW GIRL

11 Apr

I forgot what it felt like to be the New Girl. Sure, there’s something a little exciting about being the New Girl. Maybe the New Girl will be wildly accepted and instantly popular. Maybe people will find her mysterious but not threatening. Maybe the New Girl will find a place where she can grow and flourish…Or maybe the New Girl will just be that, another nameless face in the revolving door of the Christian church.

Today it dawned on me that I AM THE NEW GIRL! (insert dramatic pause)  This is a HUGE change. A few years ago I was very comfortable and active in my church. I felt accepted and welcome. I looked forward to Sunday worship and Bible study. I volunteered countless hours in the ministry. I studied at home so that I could be a better servant. I did this without hesitation because I was part of something bigger than me. I was part of a community. Fast forward to today….I am searching for a new community.  

Every Sunday I walk into a church and I don’t know anyone. I’m not a part of the group. I don’t have friends to sit with. I don’t know the pastor’s name, the church mission or the church beliefs. I don’t even know where the bathrooms are. I am the New Girl. Every week Christian community encounter visitors. There are enumerable New Girls I feel like we’re a forgotten group without a spokesman. So today, I’m speaking up. Here’s what I want you to know about the many New Girls that you meet.

1.       I want to belong. I want to be accepted.

2.       It’s not easy walking into a new church. Everyone has well established roles and I have to figure out where I fit in.

3.       I’m self-conscious. I hope that I’m dressed appropriate for your church. If I’m not please don’t point this out to me.

4.       I want someone to smile at me and say hello. It’s super important.

5.       I’ll need some help…I won’t know the words to every song, when to sit, when to stand or where the bathrooms are.

6.       I want to be appreciated but I don’t want to be singled out too much.

7.       I’m not a threat. I’m not here to take your church position. I’m also not the latest Jezebel to infiltrate your church.

8.       I’m nervous.

9.       I want accountability.

10.   I am a Christian. I’m forgiven. I’m secure in my salvation.  

11.   I have been hurt by church. So I might be a little apprehensive.

12.   I’m not into cliques. If you don’t know me that probably means that I don’t know you (just think about that).

13.   I love God.

14.   I want to learn and I want to grow spiritually.

15.   I might not come back. Don’t take it personal. Your church is awesome but it’s just not the place for me.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R. AKA The New Girl 

How Can We Both Be Victims?

14 Oct

As I am sitting here thinking about my life situations something HITS me… How can we both be victims?

I would like to share a small story with you if that’s okay.  I have a first cousin that I hadn’t spoken to in over 7 years.  We talked everyday. We didn’t go days without talking, but somehow we ended up going years without talking.  I can’t even tell you why we stop talking. All I can tell you is that I thought she was mad at me, and she thought I was mad at her.  Which wasn’t even the case. Wow the things that will happen when PRIDE steps in! And that’s when it dawned on me today how much I have allowed the devil to rob me of…

There was so many years of joy, peace, and love lost.  All because we was prideful and we both wanted to play the victim. Neither party wanted to humbled themselves to even see what the real issue was or even if there was an issue. How can we both be victims?  It wasn’t because we did anything to each other, but it was because the devil played his game.But the grace that God gives is even stronger. As the scripture says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6 GNT
Unashamed,
Toi

You Are Covered.

22 Mar

The enemy is threatened when make up in your mind to pursue God.

He’s threathened when you know your worth, value and price in Christ.

He sends us distractions to try to stop our pursuit.

John 16:33 (NKJV) “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Luke 22:31 “And the Lord said, Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

When God reveals his purpose for your life and you start in that direction. Get ready for the fight! When I say this has been an eventful 2015 already. I will continue to stand firm on his promises and continue to walk by faith. I’m thankful that Jesus is my high priest and consistently intercedes for me.

Thanks be to God who ALWAYS causes me and you to triumph in our Lord Christ Jesus.

Christine K.~

Rejection.

12 Jan

“Rejection is just God redirecting you into the right path.” We hear it all the time but is it really? I will have to admit, I don’t believe that wholeheartedly. I do believe it can be redirected properly when the individual being rejected actually knows how to identify it. Most people that face rejection don’t know how to deal with it, especially when someone is living in a continuous state of rejection.

Honestly, I would prefer to experience rejection than to be the rejecter. When faced with rejection you feel low, confused, unworthy, like a complete failure. However, that is not the case, most of the time; the rejected person has not done anything wrong.

God tell us that we are accepted when we first accept Christ as our personal savior. Christians take longer than we should to believe that scripture. Oftentimes we do things to try to “fit in” within the community of believers. The whole – I serve in church, I attend every bible study, every conference in hopes to feel accepted by that particular body. Some people even rub noses with the “elites” or give bigger offerings in hopes of being accepted or deemed worthy of positions. Sadly, their hearts are so far from God.

As Christians we are born in the image of God. We are 1st connected to him and he gives us the longing to be connected to others. But this has to be a healthy connection. We cannot lose our identity (or never find it) in hopes of be accepted by man. We should only desire to change ungodly behavior for God and yourself. Not others.

God is a loving and gracious God. He accepts us all. So why do we reject one another? I believe low self-esteem, fear, and pride on the rejecters heart.

And to the one experiencing rejection look to God. Ask yourself are you putting your self-worth, esteem and worthiness in someone else’s hands. Let me answer that question for you, YES!

Do everything unto God, let him order you steps. His love and approval is readily available to you as a gift. When sin entered in this world he loved us enough to send his son to die for you. No one else will ever do that for you. Aim to please God with your faith, back it up with actions and watch your life transform right in front of your eyes.

Be confident in who you are. Be brave enough to face adversity. Be strong enough to walk the narrow path God placed in front of you.

Just Be…

~Christine K.

Unique.

9 Nov

“How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered.” – Psalms 139:17

The entire chapter of Psalms 139 is a great reminder of how unique we are and how we can never escape God’s presence. God delights himself in us because we are his very own masterpiece. He created us in our inmost being and his gracious thoughts about us as the scriptures states “cannot be numbered.”

Awesome.

Unfortunately, the distractions, condemnation and negativities of this world bombard our thought life which then is demonstrated in our behavior. We walk around as robots. Mimicking behavior, dressing in what others deem fashionable and never really learning who we are on the inside. Self-discovery or what I like to call “God discovery by the workings of the Holy Spirit” after you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, is NON-NEGOTIABLE! We tell new believers all the time the things they can’t do anymore but we never really give them the steps on how to live (outside of going to Sunday morning service, join a ministry and don’t miss bible study). All of those things are important…but you also have to LIVE!!!

Do you like to run?

Are you a painter?

When was the last time you participated in a dance class?

All I’m saying is….try something new! Learn who you are as you transform into God’s image. There is something about you that will blow your mind that you don’t even know you are able to do (yet)

I have to admit this was struggle for me after I got born again. I was BORED with Christianity. I was in my 20’s and I didn’t know what to do. All my friends were out and I was in the house. I kept saying asking God “so what am I supposed to do.” He soon gave me Godly friends and activities (PRAISE THE LORD).

This morning while I was eating breakfast (which prompted this post) I thought “I forgot how unique I am” I forgot that I cannot be replaced. There will only be one Christine. God only made one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with yourself because GOD LOVES YOU! Why not also love his creation too.

As Christians, our common thread of identity is the spiritual fruit we produce.

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

Be confident in what God created. You for his glory, for he created us as individuals but connected us through his spirit.

~Christine K.

Users and Accusers

22 Oct

“You’ve been played and I think you know it…but I used you, used like a stepping stone…” Those are the lyrics to a hip-hop song from the 90’s. I don’t really remember much else from the song but those lyrics resonated with me today.  It’s fitting for what I’m about to write.

I’m going to blatantly honest and vulnerable in this post. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been different; more introspective. Something was bothering me, but I couldn’t quite figure it out. This morning, it finally clicked. I’ve been fighting with the sting of betrayal. I’ve been betrayed before. Friends have told secrets, boyfriends have cheated and people have stolen money. This time it’s different. I couldn’t brush this off.

The sting from my recent betrayals is different because it came from Christians. Not just any Christians but the ones that I trusted and supported the most. I shared my secrets, exposed my vulnerabilities and told them my dreams. These people mentored me, came to my home, travelled with me and served in ministry with me. I spend countless hours volunteering in their ministries. I supported their dreams. I attended their ministry functions, bought tickets, cleaned, taught, hauled trash, listened, encouraged…I did whatever was needed.  I changed my schedule and cancelled plans to support them. I considered them friends, but they weren’t. These same “friends” now question my integrity, doubt my spiritual gifting and accuse me of being a “fake Christian”.  Smiles, hugs and phone calls have been replaced with frowns, stares and silence. I’ve served my purpose in their lives and I’ve been cast aside.

I should be sad, but I’m not. No way. Y’all don’t know Arizona! I’m an optimist. I feel like my life has been redirected. I spent so much time helping my “users” build their dreams that I forgot about mine. I stopped nurturing my gifts. For a moment, I stopped living. My “accusers” will have plenty to talk about. This chick is living her life to the fullest. I’m living the life that God has designed for me. I’m using the gifts and creativity that He has given me. I’m NOT going to spend my life supporting and mourning over “accusers” and “users”.  And I will not apologize for being me.

Unapologetically,

Arizona R

I Am Before I Was…

12 Oct

I am a child of God….

Before I was wife. I was a child of God.

Before I was teacher. I was a child of God.

Before I was usher. I was a child of God.

Before I was a deacon. I was a child of God.

Before I was preacher. I was a child of God.

Before I was a choir member. I was a child of God.

Let’s not identify and honor ourselves with titles that will not get you into heaven. Christians, let’s be proud of the best title and embrace our only identity, we freely inherited through the shed blood of Jesus Christ.

I AM A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD and because I am his child, I get the awesome opportunity to serve in my ordained area of gifting through his grace. (In my Forrest Gump voice….”And that’s all I have to say about that”)

~Christine K.

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